Are you lucky? Do you feel privileged to live in a world where anything and everything is at your fingertips? Do you take for granted the great little gadgets we humans have today, such as the iPod, or eBay or any other thing with the second letter capitalized? Well, duh! Of course you do and are! Our technological era right now is so advanced that it is hard to keep up with all the new gadgets that constantly come out on the line. We enjoy luxuries today that weren't even dreamed of or remotely possible as close as 20 to 30 years ago! But which gadgets are the best, and which ones have really made an imprint on our lives? That's the question our brilliant team of writers here at "THE WEEKLY MATTIAN" are going to dissect for you this week. We've narrowed the list down to five inventions, and have described how each one has made us lazier.
#5: THE AUTOMOBILE: Around 90 or so years ago, a man by the name of Henry Ford sat around with his colleagues and tried to think of a way to transport people faster than a horse & carriage. The unicycle had been invented before the auto by some people with a level of common sense much lower than the average human being. As "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane once stated: "If we're going to make a device able to transport and support human weight, it has to have a giant wheel in front of it! Let's make it 90 feet tall!" This brought about the invention of the giant wheel unicycle. Then came the modern bicycle and Henry Ford and other auto inventors, finally discovered that they could take this model, add a couple extra wheels, and give it power. Soon enough, the first Model T's came rolling off the assembly line and people were traveling faster than ever before. They also became much lazier and quit walking.
#4: THE MICROWAVE OVEN: All people love to eat, and all people love to cook. In fact, cooking has been recorded in history going all the way back to the Stone Age. Igor would go out into the wilderness each morning and bring back a nice big cougar for himself, Stump, Lump, and Stumpina to feast on in the evening. The four would roast the giant beast over a fire, which by the way Igor helped to invent and thereafter suffered severe burns. Unfortunately, this method took too long for these primitive primates, and they took the cougar off the flame early, ate the undercooked cougar, and died thereafter of food poisoning. Luckily, we humans don't have to wait as long today thanks to the invention of the microwave oven. When it was first introduced on the market back in 1947, a microwave stood over 5 feet tall and weighed over 750 pounds! The price on this bad boy? Approximately $5000. Today, you can walk into any ma & pa or Wal-Mart and pick up a macro-microwave for less than $50. And again, people became lazier.
#3: THE CELL PHONE: Do you remember that guy from the Verizon commercials who used to say "Can you here me now", but now just stands there with a bunch of underpaid, digitally added extras? He, to a lesser extent, helped bring the cell phone to the homes and lives of everyday people. Humans can now interact with the world merely by pressing some teeny tiny buttons. There's the text messaging, which has long replaced simple letter writing and the USPS. There are the games you can play on the thing. And there's also the Internet access on your fingertips. Heck, half the people who own a cell phone don't even use it to talk on!
#2: THE TELEVISION: Who doesn't watch TV daily? Even most classrooms have a television in their room for a greater learning experience. Possibly the world's greatest invention, TV brought instant entertainment to our lives. All old Carl has to do is get a great big bag of chips, a nice large bowl of dip, his nightly 32oz can of beer, sit in an overstuffed chair, and press a button. He is then locked in to a world of entertainment. We love the TV and can't imagine what life would be like without it.
#1: THE INTERNET: Ok, now that you think we’re complete nuts and have lost all our marbles, we've finally reached the number one invention on our list: The Internet. When it comes to the Internet, we’ll keep it short and sweet since there is so very little to say about it. Instant access, instant information, instant communication, instant anything. With the Internet, we can now do things never before possible. We can talk to Aunt Mabel who lives 1500 miles away, look up a recipe for pecan pie, and even buy a pair of underwear ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!! Really, can you imagine your world without this Internet medium? What would life be like without it? Firstly, you wouldn't be reading this episode!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
The Weekly Mattian: Episode 4: "Wal-Mart"
I have a little trivia question for you. Where is the only place in the world where you can buy a dozen bananas, underwear, a plunger, and a DVD player all in one trip? Why Wal-Mart of course! Known throughout the world as the most versatile retailer in all products large and small, Wal-Mart can be considered and economic super giant.
Both loved and hated by shoppers worldwide, the Wal-Mart family of discount stores has grown in less than forty years from a small roadside stand, to a global conspiracy. The first Wal-Mart store, as you may or may not know, was opened in 1962 in Rogers, Arkansas by a man called Sam Walton. His goal was to provide the general public a way to obtain useful necessities at a fair, competitive price. Eight years later, Wal-Mart opened its first distribution center in Bentonville, Arkansas, where the company operates out of today. The company grew and grew and only seven years later in 1979, Wal-Mart had made its first billion dollars. To close this bit of history, I'd like to share part of an article with you that appeared in the George Mason University's History News Network:
You think that Americans' national pastime is baseball, football, or NASCAR? You're wrong. It's shopping. The United States is a country filled with passionate shoppers. Nothing is more American than finding a bargain. If you want to see an economic juggernaut in action during the holiday shopping sprint from Thanksgiving to Christmas, head over to the local Wal-Mart. The company's promise of "everyday low prices" is music to the ears of every shopper. For better or worse, we're living in a Wal-Mart World. The company now produces an astonishing 2.3 percent of the nation's gross domestic product. Last year, Wal-Mart sold a record $1.43 billion the day after Thanksgiving. This year the number jumped to $1.52 billion.
Ok, enough with the history. I know you're wondering by now, well, when is he getting to the slavery part? Here we go. As it is stated above, Wal-Mart succeeds big time when it comes to making money. One group however, frowns upon Wal-Mart as they are killing them and in a way us. That group my friends is small business. Remember the days when you could go down to the old general ma and pa store to buy seed and a kettle? Unfortunately, these days have long but ceased as tons and tons of cement and millions of volts of fluorescent lights have taken over. Wal-Mart hurts small businesses by charging lower prices for the same goods you would buy in these small ma and pa stores. Pretty soon we will become slaves of Wal-Mart because everything we need will be there and we won't have to travel to small specialty shops.
In a way, this has already happened. Wal-Mart Super centers are popping up all across the country as we speak, giving consumers all of their grocery needs at a fraction of the price. Bananas remember??? Wal-Mart has indeed become the staple of shopping in America. "Let's go the grocery store"; people go to Wal-Mart. "I need a wrench at the hardware store"; he goes to Wal-Mart. "My damn kids got chewing gum in my carburetor"; he goes to Wal-Mart. Excuse me for borrowing a quote from eBay, but "you can get IT at" Wal-Mart.
Both loved and hated by shoppers worldwide, the Wal-Mart family of discount stores has grown in less than forty years from a small roadside stand, to a global conspiracy. The first Wal-Mart store, as you may or may not know, was opened in 1962 in Rogers, Arkansas by a man called Sam Walton. His goal was to provide the general public a way to obtain useful necessities at a fair, competitive price. Eight years later, Wal-Mart opened its first distribution center in Bentonville, Arkansas, where the company operates out of today. The company grew and grew and only seven years later in 1979, Wal-Mart had made its first billion dollars. To close this bit of history, I'd like to share part of an article with you that appeared in the George Mason University's History News Network:
You think that Americans' national pastime is baseball, football, or NASCAR? You're wrong. It's shopping. The United States is a country filled with passionate shoppers. Nothing is more American than finding a bargain. If you want to see an economic juggernaut in action during the holiday shopping sprint from Thanksgiving to Christmas, head over to the local Wal-Mart. The company's promise of "everyday low prices" is music to the ears of every shopper. For better or worse, we're living in a Wal-Mart World. The company now produces an astonishing 2.3 percent of the nation's gross domestic product. Last year, Wal-Mart sold a record $1.43 billion the day after Thanksgiving. This year the number jumped to $1.52 billion.
Ok, enough with the history. I know you're wondering by now, well, when is he getting to the slavery part? Here we go. As it is stated above, Wal-Mart succeeds big time when it comes to making money. One group however, frowns upon Wal-Mart as they are killing them and in a way us. That group my friends is small business. Remember the days when you could go down to the old general ma and pa store to buy seed and a kettle? Unfortunately, these days have long but ceased as tons and tons of cement and millions of volts of fluorescent lights have taken over. Wal-Mart hurts small businesses by charging lower prices for the same goods you would buy in these small ma and pa stores. Pretty soon we will become slaves of Wal-Mart because everything we need will be there and we won't have to travel to small specialty shops.
In a way, this has already happened. Wal-Mart Super centers are popping up all across the country as we speak, giving consumers all of their grocery needs at a fraction of the price. Bananas remember??? Wal-Mart has indeed become the staple of shopping in America. "Let's go the grocery store"; people go to Wal-Mart. "I need a wrench at the hardware store"; he goes to Wal-Mart. "My damn kids got chewing gum in my carburetor"; he goes to Wal-Mart. Excuse me for borrowing a quote from eBay, but "you can get IT at" Wal-Mart.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
The Weekly Mattian: Episode 3: The Senior Year
-As a general side note, this is an episode I wrote about three years ago when I was preparing to be a high school senior. It doesn’t apply to me anymore, but highly applies to those who are ready to take the big leap in the giant pool.
-Picture yourself and a group of about 5 to 7 of your closest best friends from high school. Now imagine that you've been given a special power to do whatever you wanted to do with your friends. You could go anywhere you wanted, do anything you wanted, but the most important part of this whole set up is spending time with the people you care about. But now you've reached your senior year and this dream is slipping farther away from reality. Now picture yourself alone without your high school senior friends. Think of yourself alone in a small apartment in a large city with thousands of dollars of college loans to pay off. Doesn't sound very fun does it? Before this reality hits you about this time or so next year or a couple of years from now, remember this fact: you ARE a SENIOR.
-As we get ready for another school year full of learning and fun, we must remember that this is it. No more first day of school, no more assemblies, and no more food fights in the cafeteria. This is why the senior year is one of the happiest, and one of the saddest times in a teenager's life. Sure there are all the perks, being the biggest kids in school, having wimpy junior high kids look up to you, being favored to win the battle of the classes, and most importantly, having that seniority that you may have lacked many years ago.
-My question for all my readers now is this: Are you truly ready for this milestone in your life? Have you stepped back away from the hurly burly of everyday life and thought: "Oh my, this is it? I'm a senior in high school. I may never see any of these people again in my life!" (Unless you go to the reunions, and you're a fool if you don't) My advice to you is this. Start cherishing each day that comes along. Even though it is really dumb, pray that the clock in each classroom stays at a particular time, and that the bell never rings. Go headstrong into each new school day and do something that makes it worthwhile. Again, cherish each day that you set foot into that school building, because even though you may be saying to yourself: "Oh man, I can't wait to get out of that dump", come next June you will be singing a whole other song.
-Most importantly, now is the time to get outside and spend time with your high school friends. Participate in all of the activities our school has to offer, heck, even stay after once in a while just because. Your senior year in high school is coming up and it's bound to be the best time in your life. Make sure you cherish each day that comes along, and don't rush through it just for the freedom of being an adult. You'll miss it when it's gone...
-Picture yourself and a group of about 5 to 7 of your closest best friends from high school. Now imagine that you've been given a special power to do whatever you wanted to do with your friends. You could go anywhere you wanted, do anything you wanted, but the most important part of this whole set up is spending time with the people you care about. But now you've reached your senior year and this dream is slipping farther away from reality. Now picture yourself alone without your high school senior friends. Think of yourself alone in a small apartment in a large city with thousands of dollars of college loans to pay off. Doesn't sound very fun does it? Before this reality hits you about this time or so next year or a couple of years from now, remember this fact: you ARE a SENIOR.
-As we get ready for another school year full of learning and fun, we must remember that this is it. No more first day of school, no more assemblies, and no more food fights in the cafeteria. This is why the senior year is one of the happiest, and one of the saddest times in a teenager's life. Sure there are all the perks, being the biggest kids in school, having wimpy junior high kids look up to you, being favored to win the battle of the classes, and most importantly, having that seniority that you may have lacked many years ago.
-My question for all my readers now is this: Are you truly ready for this milestone in your life? Have you stepped back away from the hurly burly of everyday life and thought: "Oh my, this is it? I'm a senior in high school. I may never see any of these people again in my life!" (Unless you go to the reunions, and you're a fool if you don't) My advice to you is this. Start cherishing each day that comes along. Even though it is really dumb, pray that the clock in each classroom stays at a particular time, and that the bell never rings. Go headstrong into each new school day and do something that makes it worthwhile. Again, cherish each day that you set foot into that school building, because even though you may be saying to yourself: "Oh man, I can't wait to get out of that dump", come next June you will be singing a whole other song.
-Most importantly, now is the time to get outside and spend time with your high school friends. Participate in all of the activities our school has to offer, heck, even stay after once in a while just because. Your senior year in high school is coming up and it's bound to be the best time in your life. Make sure you cherish each day that comes along, and don't rush through it just for the freedom of being an adult. You'll miss it when it's gone...
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
The Weekly Mattian: Episode 2: Competition in the Ice Cream World
When you think of summer, you think of the sun, beach, vacation, and fun. But when you think of summer food, the human brain automatically connects summer with Ice Cream. Yes, the simple mixture of milk, cream, ice, and several other mono and poly ingredients has become one of the staples of summertime eating. I think it is relatively safe to say that there is no one in this country of ours that doesn't enjoy this satisfying treat. (Unless they are lactose and tolerant, and there are substitutes mind you!)
As you've read on my profile, I am indeed a "master" professional ice cream scooper at Jamestown N.Y.'s most popular ice cream destination, Tastee Corners and Cafe. In the two years that I have worked there, I have learned a vast amount about the world of ice cream, and have come to realize that there is quite a lot of competition in the business. The main goal of any business is to make a profit by selling goods and services at an economical price and in a practical way. But even the ice cream world has trouble reaching these goals.
In preparing this episode, I ventured out to the different ice cream shops around the southern Chautauqua County area to look at and compare prices. Some of these places were quite reasonable with their prices, and others were just downright expensive. The cheapest place by far is the Bayview Lodge and Marina located in Onoville, N.Y. This quaint little ice cream shack sits beside a large wooden pirate ship and overlooks the beautiful Onoville Marina. Why, you wonder, is this the cheapest ice cream locale? Because it is in the middle of nowhere! Secluded from city and other town life, this ice cream stand makes its profit from mainly the boaters and sailors, who come to dock at the Marina.
Ok, I'll admit it. The most expensive place I found was indeed my place of work, Tastee Corners. At least once during the course of my work day, some loser will come up the window and say, "Why are your prices so high"? and "That's a lot of money for just one scoop"! As I've said before, businesses are out to make a profit and Tastee Corners just has a little harder time trying to do this. Because of our location, right on the corner of Foote Ave and the Southside Plaza, Tastee Corners has to pay an immense value every month on the rent. Property in this high access plaza is not cheap and we get bit on the deal. The building stays closed in the winter because nobody wants to pay the high rent to use it in the snow! (Just think of the costs to plow that place!) But one thing you will get at Tastee Corners is a wide variety of sundaes and flavors, and great service from the employees that work there. Even though some days are a bear, I love working with each and every one of them.
Being able to go out and eat ice cream is an extremely fun privilege that many people never get to do. So get out there and support our local ice cream shoppees! (Before we start buying the stuff for $10.00 a carton at Quality in the middle of January!)
As you've read on my profile, I am indeed a "master" professional ice cream scooper at Jamestown N.Y.'s most popular ice cream destination, Tastee Corners and Cafe. In the two years that I have worked there, I have learned a vast amount about the world of ice cream, and have come to realize that there is quite a lot of competition in the business. The main goal of any business is to make a profit by selling goods and services at an economical price and in a practical way. But even the ice cream world has trouble reaching these goals.
In preparing this episode, I ventured out to the different ice cream shops around the southern Chautauqua County area to look at and compare prices. Some of these places were quite reasonable with their prices, and others were just downright expensive. The cheapest place by far is the Bayview Lodge and Marina located in Onoville, N.Y. This quaint little ice cream shack sits beside a large wooden pirate ship and overlooks the beautiful Onoville Marina. Why, you wonder, is this the cheapest ice cream locale? Because it is in the middle of nowhere! Secluded from city and other town life, this ice cream stand makes its profit from mainly the boaters and sailors, who come to dock at the Marina.
Ok, I'll admit it. The most expensive place I found was indeed my place of work, Tastee Corners. At least once during the course of my work day, some loser will come up the window and say, "Why are your prices so high"? and "That's a lot of money for just one scoop"! As I've said before, businesses are out to make a profit and Tastee Corners just has a little harder time trying to do this. Because of our location, right on the corner of Foote Ave and the Southside Plaza, Tastee Corners has to pay an immense value every month on the rent. Property in this high access plaza is not cheap and we get bit on the deal. The building stays closed in the winter because nobody wants to pay the high rent to use it in the snow! (Just think of the costs to plow that place!) But one thing you will get at Tastee Corners is a wide variety of sundaes and flavors, and great service from the employees that work there. Even though some days are a bear, I love working with each and every one of them.
Being able to go out and eat ice cream is an extremely fun privilege that many people never get to do. So get out there and support our local ice cream shoppees! (Before we start buying the stuff for $10.00 a carton at Quality in the middle of January!)
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
The Weekly Mattian! Episode 1: Living in a Soap Opera
Do you ever get the feeling that sometimes it seems life takes on various soap opera characteristics? You walk through the halls or along sidewalks, and around every corner it seems that someone is conjuring up a new rumor that will hit the IM, blog, or texting waves in less than an hour. From personal experience, my life is this Soap Opera. Each day brings with it a new set of drama. People fight, people hook up, people break up, people scheme, people plot, people tell other people they're pregnant and the baby might not be yours! (Well, that one may be a stretch) But this is true! Can you tell me that you don't go through a week without seeing an event that you can immediately relate to a Soap Opera? A good example from my perspective that I see daily is with one of my sister's friends. Her friend enjoyed a long relationship with an older guy, which suddenly came to a screeching halt as all young relationships eventually do. The girl and her mother both think he made a terrible mistake and will run back to her arms any day. They fight, they bicker, they argue, and I am truly sick of it. All of this information brings a very sticky question to mind: Are our lives truly influenced by Soap Operas, or do we influence them? Could it be possible that the writers and producers of the telenovelas actually stem their ideas from the actions of everyday people? That will give you something to think about.
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